Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize