In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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