Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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