So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
