Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
