I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize