once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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