we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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