Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize