Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
