I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
