you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
