there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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