i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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