She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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