i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
