Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
