I need help removing her.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
