Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
