dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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