I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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