He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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