i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
