Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize