She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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