You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
NoShamevember. You game?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
