i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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