I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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