Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis

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(260): View more from Indiana

How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.

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