I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
