So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
