The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
