I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i think my cat just said my name.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
