he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
