I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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