My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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