You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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