I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
