that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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