I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
