ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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