So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
