oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
