Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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