On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
