Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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