He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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