I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
