So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
