Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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