i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
