DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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