It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I intend to get homeless drunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
