theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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