My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have feelings that need drinking.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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