I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
