oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize