Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
