nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
