i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
