I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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