okay pat passed out under dana's car
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
