My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
