shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
