He kissed a someone with a penis
the day after is always just damage control
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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