come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
