He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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