Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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