at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
