He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
