Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize