I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Every concussion has its silver lining
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
