Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
